As I was sitting in the studio lobby last night I witnessed a clear-cut Mean Girl scenario. I wonder if her mother knew that her daughter was capable of acting in this fashion. I wonder why she felt so threatened by the other girl to put her down so horribly. And the amazing part was that the girl talking, had no place to talk, for she was even more like what she was saying to her victim, than the victim herself!
A girl was taking a break on a chair, eating what looked like a peanut butter sandwich. Her friend was next to her. They both looked tired, and it was a beautiful, warm day and they were in their hot costumes waiting their turn to dance. They were both quiet, taking in the chaos of the lobby, minding their own business, and trying to cool off before reentering the muggy blue room.
Soon the Mean Girl came up, smiled and started small talk about the girl's sandwich. And then, out of the blue, she said, "You have really chubby cheeks." The girl sitting looked up and with confidence and not missing a beat said, "I was born this way." The standing Mean Girl laughed and continued to jab her about her cheeks.
Looking up from my magazine, I was shocked. Overall body type from head to toe of the Mean Girl would suggest that she should not have been talking about chubby cheeks. It was mind boggling. Soon the Mean Girl skipped away and the girl continued eating her sandwich.
I have heard that Middle School kids are awful, although these girls were 4th graders, I am not naive to the cruelty of kids out there. I started wondering if we grew up in this environment at that age. And if we did, then did we all survive and is it just part of the knocks in life and that true psychological damage does not occur? Why do we treat others so poorly? It was my first live scenario of a true Mean Girl viewed as an adult.
It made me sad and it spun out of control so fast and poof it was over. I want to take my daughter's cute jazz feet in the photo above and stomp out the Meanness of our society!
11 comments:
I totally agree. I subbed in a 4th grade classroom yesterday and it was my most hideous subbing experience yet... not from rowdy boys, but rather mouthy, nasty Mean Girls like the one you described. I, too, was so upset that this is now happening in 4TH GRADE. So sad.
I remember vividly that my 4th and 5th grade classrooms were full of cliquey, mean girls. I am embarrassed to say that at one time, I was one of them. Something happened though that was a huge, shameful wake-up call. I remember teasing a new girl, named Linda. I put some silly note on her back that made everyone laugh, just to be cool. A few weeks later, her single, working mother was murdered while cleaning an empty apartment building. It was so shocking and tragic. I felt so bad for Linda (who being new to our school didn't have any close friends and no siblings) and I went with her and sat by her at her mom's funeral and we became good friends after that. She moved at the end of the school year and we eventually lost touch, but I have never forgotten her or that experience.
I have always taught my kids the importance of being kind and inclusive to all of their classmates -- I even shared the Linda story with Kristen. (She was shocked at my prepubescent bad behavior.) Thankfully, my daughter (who just finished 6th grade) has not experienced any of this. There are some really nice girls in her class (including her!) and I am so grateful for that.
And, good for that girl (the mean girl's target) for sticking up for herself!
Rachael~that is a story that will change your life! I too told my children and remind them frequently to be respectful to all classmates, doesn't mean you have to play with every single one, but you need to show respect. And for my girl ~ to not be one of those girls that "ignores" other people. That bugs me too among the girls. So far so good among all the things to teach and think about ...
Mary Kathryn ~ I am beginning to see what every one has told me .. the girls are the worst. Sigh. How can we change this? There needs to be a movement of mentors who take all these girls under our wings and gets it right. :)
I agree too! I went to private school for all but one year and that was the only year I ever got teased or made fun of and I hate to think about it to this day. It was 5th grade. I was called mop head and psychopath. I can't bare to think how kids feel that deal with that every year. It's a good thing I wasn't there to over hear the mean girl, I would have left feeling really bad about what I would have said to the mean girl. It's easy for me to forget they have feelings too and are just being mean because someone was mean to them. She deserved to be put in her place though.
I remember talking to my daughter's headmaster during the middle year agea and he told me that he wished he could remove the girls during those years because of the catty behavior and clicques (sp). I also substitute taught for years and had to deal with that attitude with many girls but boys had their issues too.
As the mother of a figure skater, I must add that some of the waiting room mothers were "gems" too.
Elle,
Good that the back stage mother leaves the girls alone.
When is the recital?
Hope your son is better tonight.
Tina
A good lesson to teach your kids, I hope my kids never act like that, or are teased by the the mean ones.
my mom always taught me that it is not nice/RUDE to call attention to other's features in a non-complimentary way.
i think its like mother like daughter. parents teach their children by what they say and do.
as far as being made fun of it's been going on forever, i think now it spills out with less censor...
I'm such a mean mom, I would have told that mean little girl to stop it and apologize! What a brat!
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